Reflections about Transformation

Carol A. Hand

So much easier dreamt than spoken
So much simpler said than done
The process of transformation
never-ending once it has begun

Though you listen deeply for the next steps
the journey will test your mind and spirit
You’ll reach the breaking point again and again
The epiphany may be there but you cannot hear it

The path you’ve chosen will tempt you to abandon hope
confront you with your deepest nightmare fears
unleash powerful emotions you thought controlled
drive you to distraction and call forth your bitter tears

Forgive yourself for faltering and desiring the long journey’s final end
Find the strength within to continue, let compassionate thoughts ascend
Perhaps someday you’ll glance back and, only then, be able to comprehend
why it’s so much easier to dream than overcome suffering in order to transcend

***

(Photo Source: commons.wikimedia.com)

***

October 5, 2016

Reflections – Sunday, September 25, 2016

Carol A. Hand

Reflections in puddles
and ripples of raindrops
remind me of life’s
ephemeral gifts

Teaching and writing
take so much energy and time
necessitating new decisions
I’m face-to-face with significant priority shifts

Blogging helped me find
beauty, knowledge and dear friends
helped me uncover new purpose
and give new life to my voice
placing me once again at the crossroads
with too many paths before me
I’m too old to be a multi-tasker
It’s time to make a choice

In the autumn of my seasons
there is a need for clarity
about what feels most important
Time constraints provide reasons

for saying at least a temporary adieu
Yet I didn’t want to leave with gratitude unspoken
for all that you have shared with the world and me
I am deeply grateful to all of you

***

Yesterday’s class was both exciting and daunting. Students presented their “Exploring Positionality and Perspective Exercise,” (described in an earlier post). The depth and beauty of their presentations was a gift and an honor to witness.

This morning as I walked downstairs after rising, I realized how much it takes for me to teach now. It’s a lot of work to try to create a space that is simultaneously carefully structured and liberatory. It means being who I am as a flawed human being, critical scholar, and creative artist to respectfully engage students. My ability to do so well means I need to meet other pressing obligations.

As I reflected about how to manage my time more effectively, I listed pressing priorities: carve out time for family, complete the on-line portions for the next weeks of the course, detail later assignments, work at editing my book manuscript, harvest gardens and get ready for winter. I realized how much time blogging takes and felt a sense of relief when contemplating a hiatus.

The focus of the research course I’m teaching is, after all, healthy community. As my students reminded me, healthy communities are comprised of healthy individuals, families, and neighborhoods. At almost 70, I don’t have the elastic stamina I once did. I need to make time to breathe and balance.

It is with gratitude and a sense of sadness I say farewell to all my blogging friends for now. I will visit your blogs when I can. Until then, I send my best wishes.

***

September 25, 2016

Wednesday, March 30, 2016

Carol A. Hand

A task that once felt impossible
Is now almost complete
The last four chapters outlined
Yet the ending feels bittersweet

Although eager to write the final word
It means saying a poignant adieu
To a fictive version of my younger self
A faithful winter companion – sad but true

I’ll meet her again as I edit
But somehow it won’t be the same
The distance between us has grown
I’ve even given her a different name

She took me inside another world
For that I’ll be forever in her debt
As the process of reliving the past ends I know
Each new moment has much to teach me yet

***

Copyright Notice: © Carol A. Hand and carolahand, 2013-2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Carol A. Hand and carolahand with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

March 30, 2016

Times of Transition

Carol A. Hand

When you’re born in-between classes and cultures
Transitions are an everyday given
Deposited by warps in place and time
Sometimes serendipitous, sometimes seemingly self-driven

Do we choose our path in life
Before our first breaths with vision clear
Knowing who we are at first then forgetting
As we accommodate to each new “here”

These billions of cells that comprise who we are
We see them bound together in a semi-permeable skin
Separate from others and all that surrounds us
As our travels in this material dimension begin

Letting go of certainty – the things we think we know
Floating free to unknown places during times of transition
Realizing that like the earth’s separate continents
We are all joined as one beneath the sea of illusory division

Photo: Earth from Space – Free Images

January 18, 2016

Reflections about Traveling Through Time

Carol A. Hand

Only precious fleeting moments
In the present
How quickly they pass
The stillness of the morning
The remaining leaves golden in the rising sun
Before the drone of traffic and engines has begun
Drowning out chickadee song

Photo: Duluth Morning – November 3, 2015

Too soon I’ll begin the transition
To a time in the past
As I write of other times
With my thoughts far away
My attention no longer on here and now
I remind myself there’s a reason
This is now my storytelling season

Please be patient. I may not post often or visit your blogs as frequently as I would like this month. Each day I make this transition in time as I work on writing a book: We Remember: Ojibwe Stories about Surviving the Child Welfare (Ill-fare) Years. It’s not easy for me to return to the present with anything meaningful to say.

November 3, 2015

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Carol A. Hand

A task that once felt impossible Is now almost complete The last four chapters outlined Yet the ending feels bittersweet

Although eager to write the final word It means saying a poignant adieu To a fictive version of my younger self A faithful winter companion – sad but true

I’ll meet her again as I edit But somehow it won’t be the same The distance between us has grown I’ve even given her a different name

She took me inside another world For that I’ll be forever in her debt As the process of reliving the past ends I know Each new moment has much to teach me yet

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

A task that once felt impossible
Is now almost complete
The last four chapters outlined
Yet the ending feels bittersweet

Although eager to write the final word
It means saying a poignant adieu
To a fictive version of my younger self
A faithful winter companion – sad but true

I’ll meet her again as I edit
But somehow it won’t be the same
The distance between us has grown
I’ve even given her a different name

She took me inside another world
For that I’ll be forever in her debt
As the process of reliving the past ends I know
Each new moment has much to teach me yet