Late November Reflections – 2021

These days, I do write a lot

as a way to rebalance after reading

volumes of student papers

I do love to work with students,

but I really do dislike grading –

playing the role of gatekeeper

because their future writing

may determine the treatment

and wellbeing of the people

they’ll serve in their jobs

as service providers, advocates,

or therapists for children, families, elders

or even for communities and governments

I wish more of them

would follow the advice

I shared at the beginning

of their first semester

calvinandhobbes

By Bill Watterson, (1993, February 11). Available at GoComics

Sometimes it takes me hours

to plow through each paper

adjusting to each different topic

and each unique experiential perspective

carefully trying not to silence their voices

as I struggle to find just the rights words

to provide thoughtful feedback

without destroying self-confidence or souls

keeping in mind, of all things,

words from “The Fool’s Prayer”

“The ill-timed truth we might have kept –

Who knows how sharp it pierced and stung?

The word we had not sense to say –

Who knows how grandly it had rung?”

(Edward Rolland Sill, 1936)

I keep that in mind

when I decide if and what

to post on this blog now

I don’t often post these days

In part because there’s too little time

for me to visit other’s blogs

or even reply to comments on mine

in a timely fashion

There’s another more important reason, too

I have begun self-censoring

what I’m willing to share

when my versions of truth

may be “ill-timed”

and only “pierce and sting”

evoking strong emotions

for no purpose other than venting

without any opportunity to provide

a “balsam for mistakes”

***

The uncensored excerpt from today’s reflection…

November 26

I greeted this morning with wonder, gratitude, and laughter

as I watched a fallen curled brown leaf

that appeared to be hovering just above the earth

sometimes dancing in a gentle breeze

Eager to see if I could capture the moment in a photo

I ran into the house to grab my iphone

As I adjusted the camera focus, I hit a wrong button

choosing video rather than photo which I quickly deleted

thinking to myself, “this would be a real sleeper”

It’s fascinating how quickly perspectives can change

in response to a chance encounter, though

late novemer 2021 dancing leaf

Still, like the leaf, I feel suspended

between different views of what is real

as my heart aches for the world in these tragic times

when myths and false hopes are the only option

governments have to offer to divert attention

away from the real global threats

posed by greed and unbridled consumption

That is no laughing matter –

but the little leaf was still hovering after this long reflection

Perhaps it’s a hopeful sign that things may not always be

as precarious as they appear to be at one moment in time

Work Cited:

Sill, Edward Roland (1936). The fool’s prayer. In H.S. Schweikert, R. B. Inglis, & J. Gehlmann (eds.), Adventures in American literature (pp. 670-671). Harcourt, Brace and Company.

An afterthought – After waiting patiently for hours for me to finish writing my reflection, the little dancing leaf was still standing, so I decided it deserves a debut…

Late October Reflections – 2021

October 27

My research classes always begin

with a simple but-oh-so important question

when one stops to consider

an essential foundation for research and life

“What did you notice today?”

late october 2021 1

*

Before the last class on October 23

I was reminded of something

that has caught my attention recently

In the early morning or late afternoon

when the sun is just rising or setting

thin shimmering threads that are otherwise invisible

are suddenly revealed as strands of light

covering the lawn, connecting the tips of grass

bridges created by tiny spiders quivering in the breeze

that only they can safely travel

*

Last evening just before sundown

when the light was just right again

I noticed the shining threads were all missing

perhaps washed away by intervals of rain

during the past few days

I am hopeful the spiders will continue to weave

their shimmering threads because it’s their nature to spin

it’s not just the rain that erases their handiwork

I am sure they have had much to repair

after I have passed through their landscapes

unaware of the wonder of their silken threads

*

I am reminded of a poem, The Fool’s Prayer by Edward Rowland Sill (1936)

“These clumsy feet, still in the mire,

Go crushing blossoms without end;

The hard, well-meaning hands we thrust

Among the heart-strings of a friend…

Be merciful to me, a fool!”

*

Spinning creations of beauty and light

through one’s work seems a never-ending task

In the future I will try to remember to notice

the lives that I might unintentionally threaten

 with “clumsy feet still in the mire”

Work Cited:

Sill. E. R. (1936). The fool’s prayers. In H.S. Schweikert, R. B. Inglis, & J. Gehlmann, Eds., Adventures in American literature. New York: Harcourt, Brace and Company, 670-671.

Note:

My attempts to find information on the internet about tiny spiders that spin threads between blades of grass not webs were unsuccessful. I mostly found advertisements about how to get rid of spiders in lawns that I didn’t bother to read.

***

October 27

Rainy day work processing chard

Washing, chopping, blanching

getting it ready to freeze

watching the second hand

make it around three times

on the battery-powered wall clock

mounted above the stove

as I breathe in the warm, misty

chard-scented air

*

(Believing it would save time,

I once tried the timer on my iphone

but being inept with technology

the phone set off alarms

for the battery-backup surge protectors

used for computers and appliances

throughout my house

It’s not an experience I’m willing to repeat

But I digress …)

*

I had time to think during the interstices

as the chard blanched before bathing in cold water

I wondered if what I have done as a teacher

made any difference in the lives of students

reminding me how grateful I am for teachers

who made a difference in my life

all sharing valuable lessons

including those who provided clear examples

of what I hoped never to become

*

‘though teaching seems a never ending task

I feel blessed doing work that may open up possibilities

perhaps mostly in humble, invisible ways

But it’s time for reflections to end for now

The blanched chard is packed in freezer bags,

Freezing…

All too soon, the weather will be doing so, too…

*

late october 3

*

Note:

For more information about chard: https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/284103

Reflections – June 26, 2021

I may not look like much

but I’m sacred life, hard won

*

june 26 2021 1

*

hope emerging despite vulnerability

during difficult times of heat and drought

*

june 26 2021 2

*

in a world grown weary with uncertainty and fear

I unlock potential to overcome adversity,

offering sustenance and beauty

*

june 26 2021 3

*

Early March Reflections – 2021

I still wonder “what could be”
if we were able to put aside differences
and work together lovingly
for the sake of the earth we all share
the “pale blue dot,” our home
which contains so many unexplored mysteries
floating in space amid a cosmos that baffles us

Perhaps others grow dizzy like me
trying to envision a spinning moon
revolving around a spinning earth
that’s revolving around a central sun
along with the other eight planets
in a shared solar system that seems expansive
yet is nonetheless dwarfed by the vast unknown

How many take the time to wonder why?
How many ponder the miracle
of the ground beneath their feet?
Or contemplate this concept
called gravity that keeps us rooted
on a planet spinning in space
at one thousand miles per hour
while revolving around the sun
at 67,000 miles per hour?

I haven’t met many who ask these questions
on my journey through life
most have been too busy to wonder
about ground where they stand
or ponder why they remain grounded
and why they can’t fly

Maybe if more people contemplated these mysteries
we would discover how to care enough about the earth
to put our differences aside…

March Morning Moonset – March 20, 2019

*

Information Sources:

https://www.planetary.org/worlds/pale-blue-dot

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/how-fast-is-the-earth-mov/#:~:text=The%20earth%20rotates%20once%20every,roughly%201%2C000%20miles%20per%20hour.

https://www.space.com/why-pluto-is-not-a-planet.html

Following is a link to a fun video I discovered a few years ago when my granddaughter told me she hadn’t learned anything about the stars or solar system in school. We still laugh about this video. We shared it with her mom and brother this year during her birthday celebration on March 5 when she turned 14 and we all laughed together. Learning and remembering can often be fun.

Unexpected Musings

What trees can teach us

(Connections to the place where we are standing)

 

*

The solitary mountain ash now stands alone

to weather the winds that led to the passing of the two old willows

that once embraced her and nurtured her through her tender years

Still, they anchor her firmly and deeply
between their stumps and roots
feeding the abundance
of  berries
that hang
from   her
delicate
branches as
sustenance
for    her
winged and
four-legged
relations
when    the
deep snows
fall and the
cold winter
winds blow
strong

*

Acknowledgements

Although I have so little time to write and blog these days, stories and poems sometimes flow through me any way. They are meant to be shared with others  because they are connected to others who inspire them. I am sharing this with gratitude to my colleague who insisted we use trees as a metaphor for the class we are teaching about community practice. Initially, I thought she was a little bit crazy. But the course has continued to inspire students year after year. I am also sharing it with gratitude to a dear blogging friend, Robyn, a gifted writer and poet who has inspired me to look ever more deeply at my connections to the land where I stand.  And of course, last but not least, this post was inspired by the mountain ash tree bearing her gifts for all who come into her presence.






Reflections about the Power of Presence

There was really nothing remarkable about her appearance
small and thin – if truth be told, a bit ordinary and mousey
perhaps a blessing in disguise – it made her invisible
Her voice was soft and melodic – with a hypnotic quality
that created space where those who were too loud, quieted, 
and leaned forward to listen intently when she spoke
She didn’t think this had anything to do with her in particular

Her laughter, though infrequent, created sparkling crystal light
thawing and healing wounded hearts or invoking fear
among those who were filled with darkness
Her gaze was focused and intense – a reader of souls
People who were relegated to marginal status
were often drawn to her light like moths to a flame
sensing a compassionate presence others could not see

She sometimes felt the power within and hid from it
knowing that power brought overwhelming temptations
aware that an ill-spoken word hurled with anger or rage
could leave legacies of lasting harm
and would certainly cut her most deeply

Life taught her to hone her voice, gaze, and presence
though she somehow intrinsically knew only to use them responsibly
on behalf of others in times of great need or danger
and spirits watched over her helping her learn
to only use her gifts in ways that would not draw attention
from the watchers who wanted to stifle compassion, wisdom, joy
and the loving spirit of ordinary people
in order to keep them afraid, confused, angry, and divided
and unable to express the transformative beauty they carried within

Imagine life in COVID for such a one
with months spent largely in isolation
unable to use abilities that were gifts
intended to help others on the margins
to be seen and heard, to have their voices matter
in decisions that affect their lives and all our relations
The regenerating effects of energy shared between humans
through the magic of presence, smiles, and touch now taboo
forcing reliance on distancing technologies and online platforms
as the primary means for communicating through virtual words

Yet nature provides a way for her to stay connected to the world
with the gentle winter kisses of snowflakes – each unique
and each a miracle of seemingly impossible beauty
reminding her to be grateful because she can still share
from her heart even with distancing technologies
even in the midst of suffering, loss, and darkness

She hears a message for herself
and feels compelled to pass it on to others

“Be kind and gentle with yourself and others
each unique and each a miracle of seemingly impossible beauty
rekindle the light within and envision the best you can imagine
for the new year just beginning – let it be a time of healing
and a time of freedom from bondage to fear, suffering, and separation”

What I Noticed Today …

I am sharing the poem that sang through my heart this morning before my last classes.

Choosing to focus on compassion brings gifts.
This morning, I realized the gift of myopia (nearsightedness)…

As a child, I couldn’t see the sharp boundaries that separated one thing from another.
I could only see the way things blended together at the margins of their physical beings.
Now I realize the power of learning to see the world through that perspective.
At 8, I got powerful lenses that helped me see that leaves on tress were distinct and separate
not a massive cotton-ball sitting on top of their trunk.

Yet I can’t go back and unsee their connections –

    • to each other,
    • to the tree trunk,
    • to the earth that gives the tree footing and sustenance,
    • to the sky that is above and surrounds them,
    • to the winds that sometimes caress and whisper through them, and other times ravage the branches they cling to tenaciously,
    • to the birds and squirrels that seek connection and sanctuary amid a leafy home,
    • and to those who take time to observe them with wonder and gratitude.

Sometimes the things others call deficiencies
turn out to be among our most precious gifts
if we are fortunate enough to be able to overcome the limitation they may impose.

My childhood was not easy. It forced me to find inner strengths to survive…

*

Beaver Moon” – November 28, 2020

*

I hope you are able to remember how you learned to see the world as a child.

 

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