Carol A. Hand
When I arrived here
in the world of humans
all the rules had been written
and all the roles had been assigned
save one – the role of outsider
reserved for others like me
who couldn’t conform
to cultures and religions
claiming to be the only
True Way
*
The curse of being born between cultures is to always enter each new setting to discover the enduring discomfort of being an outsider. Finally, I have learned to be grateful for the freedom that role confers, even though my spirit longs to connect with people as easily as it does with dragonflies, birds, trees, and bumblebees bending flowers as they feed.
I feel the imminent danger we all face, yet I remember a saying from Lao Tzu that seems to be true to me – “the way to do is to be.”
I have no answers for others, but decades ago I was blessed by the example of Sister Lorita, my college adviser and botany professor. She humbly endured being mocked by many of her privileged students. One day, she shared her secret with me.
“It doesn’t matter what people think of me if they learn to see the wonder of life in a blade of grass.”
Every morning and most evenings, I sit outside on my little porch looking toward the western sky. I observe and listen to the nature around me – both “natural” and human. Some of what I see and hear touches my heart with wonder, while other sights and sounds weigh heavy on my spirit. Both inspire me to honestly reflect on the things I do that add to the threats for all life. And I try to do better. But it’s hard to do it alone.
*

*
Still, I try to do better. I plant and tend gardens, spend time with my daughter and grandchildren when their busy schedules allow, and teach part time. I try to raise the awareness of my grandchildren and the students I work with in gentle ways, creating a space for them to learn to be present and inquisitive, to question what they have learned in the past, and to think critically about what they encounter in the present.
It’s impossible for me to know if anything I say or do will make a positive difference in their lives, but teaching by example has made a difference in mine. It’s helped me learn to live with fewer and fewer immutable answers and many more questions which I may never be able to answer with certainty.
*
Carol, I know that you are making a positive difference in the lives you touch. You have made a difference in mine ❤
As an outsider myself, I have found my way by embracing the great diversity of humanity. I rejoice when others welcome me into their hearts. I suffer the blows from those who reject me, get up again, and move forward.
I also "feel the imminent danger we all face." The teachings of Lao Tzu buoy me up. The saying you quote, "the way to do is to be," reminds me to let go of my anxieties and just be.
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Ah, dear Rosaliene, I apologize for taking so long to reply to such an important comment. I am so grateful we met. I have learned so much from you and value your friendship deeply. I see you as a sister in spirit and am continually inspired by all that you do. Sending hugs, love, and blessings. 💜
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Autumn leaves me (pun intended) in a reflective mood too — which leads to the thought that this Albert Camus quote is germane here:
“Autumn is a second spring when every leaf is a flower.”
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Such lovely reflections, Mister Muse. Thank you so much for sharing your humor and insights, and for your patience awaiting my very belated reply. Sending my best wishes to you.
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Thoughtful and lovely reflections as always, Carol. I love the Lao Tau quote.
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Please forgive my belated thank you, Art. It is always a gift to hear from you. Sending my best wishes. 💜
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Thoughtful and beautiful, Carol. Thank you!
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Thank you so much for your kindness, Decker, and for your patience awaiting a very delayed reply. Sending my best wishes to you. 💜
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And always…my best wishes to you, Carol! 🙂
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Beautiful, Carol…
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Thank you, dear Bette. 💜
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Carol…this post reflects. resonates, and reminds me of so much. You make a difference with your being…I’m certain of it. The truth and deep feeling in your words, stories and commitments are apparent and feel important and authentic to me. You are therefore an example for all who notice, learn from you or heed your gentle calls for the same. ‘Tis the season for reflection as we prepare for the Winter of rest. Our being is critical to the healing that our world needs. Be well, dear Carol. 💕
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Dear Carrie, I am so grateful that you are in my virtual community. I learn so much from you and value your ongoing kindness and encouragement. Thank you. Sending my best wishes. 💜
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💜 I appreciate and learn from you as well. I consider it a privilege to share this virtual space with you and other deeply thoughtful and considerate souls on what can be an extremely challenging journey at time.
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Thank you for sharing kind and gentle spirit, Carrie. 💜
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Carol,
Knowing you only virtually yet, I continually see a source of positive kind reinforcement, a fount of encouragement in a, at times, cynical world. Your honest reflections about two cultures, being an outsider, I can relate. IMHO being an outsider is being willing to grow, love yourself so you can love others and not just accept the status quo.
Gibran wrote: “Love has no other desire than to fulfill itself” …. To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;”
“Pain of too much tenderness” How powerful is that!!? Peace to you my friend.
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Dear Ray, I value your virtual friendship a great deal and am always excited to read your posts. Your depth and wisdom are inspiring. Sending my best wishes to you. 💜
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The feeling is mutual my friend. I am often inspired by your writings. “Aspire” also applies with respect to to your discipline and style. I am thankful for this sanctuary of sorts,, away from a noisy world. ✌️
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Thank you for your kindness, 💜
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Quote: “It’s impossible for me to know if anything I say or do will make a positive difference in their lives, but teaching by example has made a difference in mine. It’s helped me learn to live with fewer and fewer immutable answers and many more questions which I may never be able to answer with certainty.”
Such wisdom, so well stated. If an answer doesn’t lead to more questions, it was the wrong answer.
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Thank you so much for your thoughtful comments and kind words, Sha’Tara. Sending my best wishes to you. 💜
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Nice and thoughtful of you Carol. Enjoy your life by what you are doing. Life is very short.
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Thank you, Kamal. 💜
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Welcome 😊😊 Carol
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I believe you are making a big difference with your even bigger presence, Carol. You ask questions others can’t even articulate. You are moving society forward simply with your presence, and, of course, your wisdom. The world is better with you in it. ❤️
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Dear Pam, thank you so much for your always kind and encouraging comments. Please know that despite my belated replies today, your kindness touched me deeply and helped me keep trying even when I was too busy to thank you at the time. 💜
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❤️❤️❤️
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It’s hard to feel like an outsider, but I do think it gives a sense of fairness and compassion, as well as creativity, all of which you seem to have plenty of Carol!
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Thank you for your kind words, Andrea. Accepting one’s differences makes life easier and more authentic. 🙂
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A beautiful and inspiring poem and post, Carol, and not alone. Peace and love, Bruce.
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Bruce, it is always a gift to hear from you. Thank you so much for your kind words. Sending my best wishes to you and your lovely family. 💜
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She sounds like a lovely person!
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Thank you, Wanda. I am grateful I had an opportunity to work with Sister Lorita and learn from her wisdom. 🙂
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Perfect and beautiful, uplifting words Carol. Thank you.
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Thank you so much for your thoughtful, lovely comment, Helen. 💜
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gratitude for your heart’s reflections, dear teacher.
may you dwell peacefully where you have sovereign rein
in your true home, the wonderful present moment 🙂
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And gratitude to you, dear David, for your kind heart and lovely poetic comments. Sending my best wishes to you. 💜
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If you believe in the role model concept, you certainly pass the test.
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Thank you so much for your kind words, James. 💜
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Reblogged this on amaro gross.
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