July Reflections – 2019

Carol A. Hand

This morning, I found myself wondering about the reflections I posted during mid-July in past years and decided to take a retrospective journey. For decades, July has been a time spent gardening. Watching the miracle of life unfurl from dry seeds never ceases to fill me with awe. Tending plants gives me a chance to focus on helping living creatures in practical, grounded, and perhaps, creative ways.

Foxglove – July 9, 2019

Gardening is like life in many ways. It’s not easy – or predictable either. Each of my past eight years gardening here has presented challenges to address – deer before the high fence went up, invasions by slugs during wet years, droughts in early spring and late summer, and deluges that wash away seeds that have just been planted or crush tender plants. This year is the year of the rabbits. The population of little bunnies that can get through fencing has exploded.

Still, I love the chance to work with gardens and attempt to solve perplexing issues. People are often more difficult for me to work with and I sometimes wonder why my path led me from a career in ecology to one in social work…

But back to my journey through past posts. I hope you will join me The posts reflect topics I often ponder when gardening when I have a chance to wander through time – how to find common ground in a divided world, how to be present in the moment, and the importance of relationships with others and the natural environment.

***

July 13, 2014 – Finding Common Ground”

When I walked into the office of an inter-tribal agency on the first morning of my new job as deputy director of health and human services, it was clear how easy it was for people to be divided. Staff for the five programs at the time only felt ownership for their programs. They resented any expectations of collective responsibility for the welfare of the agency or tribes. They fought over which program paid for stationary and who could use the one computer. They didn’t question the appropriateness of imposing state and federal requirements on tribal communities. And in situations where staff struggled to meet program requirements, there was only censure and no help. The eleven-member Board of Directors comprised of the Chairpersons of member tribes was also easily divided, concerned only about meeting the interests of their respective tribal community. Why would it be otherwise if they expected to be reelected? There was little recognition of the needs of urban Native American populations in the state, and strong resistance to any cross-ethnic collaboration.

Looking back, I realize that at each step, I tried to find common ground among my department staff, my agency colleagues, other oppressed communities, and with funders and administrators as well. It is so easy for people who are oppressed to see others who are oppressed as the enemy. Who loses and who benefits from divisions among oppressed people? Clearly, those in power benefit from deflecting attention away from the role they play as our puppet masters. We keep each other oppressed and all too often, kill each other off while those in power profit financially and enjoy the illusion that they are smarter, more developed morally and culturally, and better fit to impose their hegemony.

Tree of Peace – by John Kahionhes Fadden, 1991 (Source)

 

Who benefits from the continuing conflict between Israel and Palestine? Only those who sell their souls and the hopes and dreams and lives of other people for the illusion of personal safety and status, those who wish to exploit oil and other resources with greater ease, and those who get rich by selling their weapons. Those who lose are ordinary people on both sides. Homes and lives are lost on both sides and children on both sides grow up in a war zone that teaches them to fear and hate their neighbors for generations yet to come. We all lose from a world at war, from a world where people are brutally murdered by governments for no other reason than securing the power and privilege of the ruling class. And we all lose when generations are denied the right to develop and contribute their gifts to the rest of the human community.

***

July 10, 2015 – “Draw a Monument”

It was a July morning in 2011. An odd group of faculty, mostly from the English and art departments of a university, gathered for an in-service to learn how to use art as a vehicle for unlocking people’s stories. The instructor began.

“You have two minutes to draw the first thing that comes to mind for each of the words or phrases I mention. Don’t worry about technique. That will just interfere with your ability to tap what is most important to you.

“Draw the ‘safe place when you were a child.’ Draw ‘pressure – the pressure you feel from all of the demands that you deal with in your life.’ Now, draw a ‘monument.’”

For me, the images I drew that day were all linked to nature, to the natural world. That has always been my source of balance and solace in times of challenge and uncertainty. And now, as nature is threatened ever more by forces of exploitative disregard and destruction, it’s hard to hold on to a sense of hope and peace some days.

Unlike my colleagues, I didn’t draw an edifice of marble or concrete, I drew a tree – a living monument of what helps us survive on this planet. If Jared Diamond’s (2005) thesis is accurate, could it be that one of the final death knells for societies is the destruction of the forests that blanket the earth and give us all oxygen to breathe?…

Beloved Willow – injured in June 2015, removed in May 2018 due to fatal injury

 

As I work at grueling physical labor,
I watch my thoughts and feelings,
I sweat and swear,
Laugh at myself and my struggles – and find peace,
Sometimes present and other times floating in memories of past times and places,
Talking to plants and earthworms,
To the robins that are watching
Eagerly waiting to explore the earth I’ve just uncovered
And swatting at mosquitoes (I’m sorry to say)

I arise the next morning knowing there are still new jobs to be done. There is no ego or allure of fame and fortune involved. I know what I am doing will not save us from the future, but it gives me comfort to know that around the globe, people are tending the earth with hard work and loving care. Living simply and breathing love into the work we do whatever it might be – it’s what we can do for ourselves and the future of our grandchildren and our world.

“Actually, while it won’t be easy to reduce our impact, it won’t be impossible either. Remember that impact is the product of two factors: population, multiplied times impact per person.” (Diamond, p. 524)

The trees and the gardens we tend and the love we breathe into the world around us are the most important monuments we can leave.

***

July 10, 2016 – Reflections on July 10, 2016

Sitting on my back step a few days ago
A musical voice drew my attention
“Oh you’re so beautiful, you make me so happy.”
I peeked through the fence and saw my neighbor,
turning away from the fence to walk home.
She talks to the flowers and plants in my gardens
and always touches my heart with her lovely spirit.
I ran out to invite her into the yard
She already knew about the geranium –
another neighbor rescued it from an early death
and left it as a gift early in the spring
What more could one ask of life than friends
who share the love of life and beauty?

Sara’ Gift

***

July 9, 2017 – Reflections about Being a Parent and Grandparent

When my daughter was born,
my view of the world forever changed.

Life was no longer something I peered at
from a safe distance
I felt it deeply – glowing in my heart
Powerful, shifting emotions
forced me to realize how precious
and precarious life can be
Holding each of my grandchildren for the first time
intensified my sensitivity and commitment
to do all in my power to be a loving presence
Watching them as they grow
amplifies both joy and pain
celebrating their accomplishments
suffering when they encounter challenges

Self-portrait by my granddaughter – July 7, 2017

 

Sometimes all I can do is
to simply try to be a loving presence

 

My granddaughter’s portrait of her Ahma – July 8, 2017

 

In times such as these it’s not easy
to believe the future holds bright possibilities
Let our hearts awaken and glow
with celebratory joy

***

July 12, 2018 – Awakening Slowly

Awakening slowly
after a stormy night’s
seemingly dreamless sleep
frequently interrupted
by the urgent sound of rain
pounding on windows and roof
accompanied by booming thunder
that shook the house
to its very foundations
yet resting unafraid
and rising gently
to greet the day
gardens transformed
overnight

July 12, 2018

other awakenings grace my days
encountering random kindness
in unexpected places like the city bus
as a stately elder gentleman
reached across the divisiveness
so prevalent here today
to bring kindness and comfort
into the lives of others
and graciously dealt with
rejection from those
effectively conditioned
to fear difference and joy
I couldn’t leave the bus
without thanking him
in the only words
that came to me
“Sir, you are a blessing to others”

***

July 18, 2018 – Reflections about Divisive Nationalism

Greeting the cool sunny morning
listening to the joyous music of birdsong
deeply peaceful yet unable to drown out
the drumbeat of nationalism
that threatens to destroy us all

It’s our own consumption and complacency
clinging to old myths of benevolent exceptional empires
that keep us from seeing shared humanity
on an earth with no dividing lines
except for scars left by exploitation and war

It matters little which kleptocrats rule
when we choose to see others as an enemy
rather than to listen deeply to the heartbeats
of a planet we are entrusted to lovingly tend

“Earth Day” Flag by John McConnell, Wikipedia

 

***

Today, I will visit Pinto, my little dog, who’s in the hospital recovering from an operation.

Pinto – July 13, 2019

Maybe I’ll have time to edit my manuscript and pull a few weeds, too, grateful for the gifts of beloved companions, a small relatively peaceful space on earth to tend, and the responsibilities to still care for others. I will continue to do what I can to build common ground in a divided world without compromising integrity, to be present in the moment despite the pain that sometimes brings, and to nurture healthy relationships with others and the natural environment by walking softly on the earth.

24 thoughts on “July Reflections – 2019”

  1. Beautifully said.
    As for the bunny invasion, we have them also, but the grass and weeds are so lush from all the rain we’ve had, the bunnies haven’t needed to munch on our flowers (so far). If and when they do, I’ll try to keep in mind that they have to live too (though I’m not sure that’s a good enough excuse to satisfy my wife!).

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for your lovely comments, Mister Muse, and for sharing your experiences and views of bunnies. They are cute. I just wish they would focus on all of the weeds and leave the food and flowers alone… 🙂

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  2. Thank you for taking the time to share your reflections with us, Carol ❤

    "Sometimes all I can do is / to simply try to be a loving presence"
    ~ Since you first shared this reflection with us, I've made this my daily guide to living. What miracles this attitude has brought to my life!

    "The trees and the gardens we tend and the love we breathe into the world around us are the most important monuments we can leave."
    ~ Tending to the garden in our shared apartment complex is not only a joy for me, but also a gift to my neighbors, exhausted at the end of a tough day in the workplace.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I hope Pinto is well Carol. Your reflections are beautiful and profound as always Carol – it’s interesting the way they go between the divisiveness of society and the simple things that bring people joy and harmony. I especially love the overheard neighbour telling the plants how happy they made her!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for kind words, Andrea, and for your well-wishes for Pinto. I really wasn’t sure if he would survive the weekend, but he came home from the hospital this morning and is doing much better. Sending my best wishes to you. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Hi Carol, I remember reading all of your past posts. They were nice to reread. My goodness, I hope Pinto is feeling better. Give him a scratch for me. Take care. Bob

    Liked by 1 person

  5. This is a wonderful output of thought-to-words. The underlying power of your perspective is like a driving drum beat beneath all you say. I admire this! Your words are so poetic: “The trees and gardens we tend and the love we breathe into the world around us are the most important monuments we can leave.” And…I also read Jared Diamond!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for your thoughtful, lovely comments, Allyson. Jared Diamond’s work is so thought-provoking. I read “Collapse” when I lived in Missoula, Montana. I had an opportunity to witness the challenges he wrote about in Chapter 1 – “Under Montana’s Big Sky.”

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  6. I love this journey through the past, Carol! Your granddaughter’s drawings hit home for me–I see my own kids where their hearts, draw them on paper, and I pray I am doing all I can to give them the strength and fortitude so no one can tear their hearts away.
    Hope your dog’s recovery goes well, and the weeds don’t run too rampant! I gave up on our garden this year, but have high hopes for next year with Bo’s new landscaping ideas. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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