Carol A. Hand

***
Winter Solstice for the Northern Hemisphere just passed
symbolizing growing light
inspiring me to set a candle aglow with gratitude
on this dark December night
for all those who have shared the journey
with creative compassionate spirits shining bright
***
Lighting the Candle for the Four Directions
This morning when I awoke I was reflecting on my lack of hope and passion these days. It feels as though everything I love, everything that brings me joy and peace and hope is at risk. When did my hope and passion disappear? Was it because of the institutions where I worked that publicly espoused social justice missions but contradicted those values through the actions of the majority? Was it because of the neighbors or ex-spouses who only appeared to be concerned with their own comfort and their own pursuit of happiness? Was it because of the zeitgeist of the times summarized by the observation of my newest neighbor when speaking of a child with serious mental health issues? “I’m in this alone.” This feeling of being alone, when internalized, is a destroyer of hope and collective action and it seems to be a major obstacle for joining together to address the serious threats of these times.
As I look back, I realize this feeling has been an undercurrent in the past. Every intervention I have worked on hit this stumbling block sooner or later despite my best efforts. Like my neighbor, ultimately I felt alone in my past efforts because I was never able to inspire or cultivate enough hope for a critical mass of others who were willing to put aside immediate personal comfort to carry the responsibility for working toward a greater good. It was not for lack of trying.
Yesterday, as I was contemplating clearing away some of the gifts, papers, and books I’ve accumulated over the years that fill files, shelves, walls and cupboards, I noticed the white candle that sits atop my most important bookshelf – the one that holds irreplaceable books I used to write my dissertation. Of course, like all my mementos, the candle has a story.
***

***
I was working as the deputy director of health and human services for an inter-tribal agency. It was not an easy job for many reasons, primarily because of the enduring legacy of colonialism that continued to impose dominant cultural paradigms on tribal communities and use divide and conquer tactics to foment conflicts between “traditional” and “progressive” tribal factions. Resolving conflict was a central part of my job, and it often put me in the middle of powerful competing interests. At a particularly challenging time, I needed to travel with one of my staff to a conference on worldwide healing for Indigenous people held in Edmonton, Alberta. The conference helped me realize I was not alone. Rediscovering the candle on my bookcase reminded me of the conference’s closing ceremony.
More than one thousand of us, representing many cultures and nations, stood in a circle within a large auditorium holding hands. Then, one elder walked to the center. She explained that the closing ceremony was intended to remind us that we were not alone. Because we were in a government building, we couldn’t use candles (fire ordinances prevented it), so flashlights would have to do. And then, the lights in the room went out as her flashlight went on in the center of the circle. She signaled to the four directions, highlighting one person from each of the four directions to walk to the center – first the east, then the south, the west, and the north. The representatives were all given a flashlight. As they touched their darkened lights to the elders “candle,” their flashlights were turned on. They were instructed to carry their light to the four directions and light other candles in their part of the circle. The elder explained that it would not be easy to keep the candle fires burning, but if the light went out, people could always return to the center to light them once again.
This morning, I realize I need to take the time to finally light the candle on my book case. It’s not the same white candle I used for a similar ceremony years later for the 40 staff who worked for the Honoring Our Children Project that included nine tribal communities. Building and maintaining multicultural, interdisciplinary teams within and across different tribal cultures was not an easy task. Providing a center they could return to in challenging times was important. But it is the same candle I used in a farewell ceremony with the graduate students I mentored during our final class together. They would all be graduating and scattering to the four directions.
***

***
As I lit the candle this morning, I thought of the inter-tribal staff who did astounding work, and the creative and inquisitive students I worked with over the years. I thought about my blogging friends around the world who help me realize that each of is sharing our light. And I thought about the many other people who carry light yet feel alone. May we learn to share our light and stand together for the sake of all we love.
***
Ulali, All My Relations
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b8LzOXVsC70
***
I will go find our special candle, and tomorrow we will light it. We, too, will be reminded that we are not alone, nor working totally against the tide. Carol, I am so very glad to know you are here on this slowly spinning beautiful blue-green orb with us!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Michael, I am deeply touched by your thoughtful lovely comments. Thank you, dear brother in spirit. ❤
LikeLiked by 2 people
Great post, dear Carol! So inspiring, giving hope and understanding that we are not alone! We’re together no matter the distance! And I join you and light a white candle with coconut fragrance as a symbol of Light victory over the Darkness!
Happy winter solstice from Moscow! 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you for your thoughtful comments and insights, Maria, and for sharing your light with others wherever you are, dear friend. ❤
LikeLiked by 2 people
🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
It is a bizarre world in which we exist, Carol, made only so by our species. Hope then, to me, is a futile ambition, although resignation remains impossible. I’m thankful for the few enlightened and compassioned, such as yourself, but will expect nothing wholesome from the dregs or the scoundrels who lead them. As such, I will never know disappointment.
Thank you for sharing your insight.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for sharing your thoughtful, honest insights, Peter. I agree that it is, indeed, a bizarre world. Peoples’ behavior often makes me feel as though I am surrounded by a surreal dystopian alternative reality that has become ever-more powerful and visible. Yet my family, friends, and the wondrous life around me remind me to do what I can anyway… 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Shine your light, dear friend. I love you.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I love you, too, dear Trace, and am so grateful for your presence in my life. ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
From me here in the UK, a Birmingham expression, “Good on yer kid!” Please don`t ever stop writing your beautiful and inspirational posts, Carol they keep me going because you constantly remind me that there are very good people in this world who care very much and who are courageous enough to stick their head above the parapet. I love you and I am immensely glad I bumped into you here. Have a wonderful break this Christmas time. 2018 is going to be a positive year of great and magnificent change. I can feel it coming…… xxxx
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dear Nelly, thank you so much for your thoughtful, lovely comments. I’m humbled by your kindness and blessings, and deeply grateful for your presence in my life. Sending much love to you along with my best wishes, dear friend. ❤
LikeLike
Dear Carol, we are kindred spirits. I thank you for the light you bring to the growing darkness that threatens the joy, peace, and hope in our lives. Your example of living keeps my tiny candle aglow. Though, I must confess, it flickers often when strong winds blow my way. You are not alone ❤
LikeLiked by 3 people
Thank you so much for your thoughtful and important comments, Rosaliene. I am deeply honored to be your kindred spirit. My candle flickers, too, and dear friends like you remind me why it’s important to it keep it glowing. ❤
LikeLiked by 2 people
thank you for continuing
to manifest that candle’s
light of hope
as you’ve done
for so many years, Carol!
descendants will find
ancestor’s wisdom
in this light 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
Dear David, thank you so much for your kindness and for always finding light despite these challenging times. Sending my best wishes to you. ❤
LikeLike
Loved reading this, Carol. It’s easy to get lost in despair when it seems the darkness is increasing. Your post is a good reminder that the wheel is always turning, and each of us has a choice in either perpetuating darkness or bringing light.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Kathy, it’s such a gift to hear from you! Thank you so much for your lovely, thoughtful poetic comments. Sending my best wishes to you. ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Carol, for your work, your faithfulness and your writing.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much for your kindness, Joan. Sending my best wishes to you. ❤
LikeLike
Merry merry Christmas!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much, Juan. Wishing you wonderful holidays, too. ❤
LikeLike
This is a beautiful reminder Carol Thank you!!!! Getting my candle ready to send light from this side! Happy Holidays!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much for your lovely, supportive comments, Hector, and for sharing your light. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank YOU Always!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Such a powerful personal offering, thank you for sharing your insights, some of which have lit my inner candle because they are touch points that resonate. One point of connection in particular is that I am shedding some of my old skin. But more poignantly, your experience of inner aloneness is affective.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for your thoughtful, lovely comments, Paul. Interesting insight about “inner aloneness.” My mother used to refer to it as “self-contained,” not needing attention or affiliation to be expressive or quietly content. Like most things, it’s both a gift and a burden.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, I feel that, gift and burden, i love your Mother’s comment, “self-contained.”
LikeLiked by 1 person
You are the light of the candle, Carol. Thank you for that.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much for such lovely comments, Annette. As I have been responding to comments today, I remembered an important truth. What we see in in others is really who we are and what we already know. You are the light of a candle, too, offering to help others on their journey with your wonderful new venture. I send my gratitude and best wishes to you. ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
So sweet, Carol. And thank you for your well wishes. Hope you get to enjoy some peaceful holidays.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Annette. 🙂
LikeLike
Thank you for such a beautifully inspiring post. It’s not a coincidence that I always feel better after reading something you’ve written. Thank you. ❤️
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much for your kind words, A Shift in Consciousness. Your thoughtfulness and ongoing advocacy help keep others’ candles glowing. ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
I hope so. 💞
LikeLiked by 1 person
A lovely, thought-provoking post and as I was reading this at 3 am when I couldn’t sleep, I looked up and saw my white centrepiece candle in front of me in the middle of our dining table. I realised I hadn’t lit it yet this Christmas, so I went and got a match and did so. It burned as I continued to read and think of you and all your colleagues who have worked so hard in the name of those who are unable to speak for themselves. Thank you for all you do to help turn the negatives into positives 🙏🏻
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dear Chris, thank you so much for such lovely, thoughtful comments. I was deeply touched and humbled by your story about lighting your centerpiece candle. Your comments brought tears of gratitude. Thank you for all you do, too, to inspire hope and healing. ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
What a great tradition and ritual Carol. Thank you for sharing that with us. Love and hugs, N 🙂 ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much for your thoughtful comments, dear Natalie. Sending hugs and my best wishes to you. ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Nice…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Aman.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You are welcome…:-)
and you can visit my blog too…;-)
LikeLike
Reblogged this on An Outsider's Sojourn II (The Journey Continues) and commented:
“May we learn to share our light and stand together for the sake of all we love.”
If there be any real reason for this season , this hopeful exhortation should be it! What I want for Christmas is a united humanity, standing together and lighting the way to a brand new world.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ah, Dave, I am so grateful for your friendship. Thank you for your lovely comments and for sharing this on your blog along with such powerful words of wisdom. ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Carol, we do not share any tribal relationship, but your poetry, insights, sentiments and musings sound a most familiar flute song to my hearing. Thanks for your wisdom and for your visits/likes/comments on Sanchismos, even when my Christmas Eve greeting is less than traditional. -Ron
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ron, thank you so much for your lovely, thoughtful comments. Sending my best wishes to you.
I appreciate your insights and honest reflections about the present “contagion” that threatens us all. I feel the threat, too, and I’m deeply grateful for your reminder about the need to keep focusing on antidotes. ❤
LikeLike
Thank you Carol for sharing this light of yours – your strength and commitment to love, life and justice. Happy solstice.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dear Bruce, thank you so much for your thoughtful, lovely comments and for the example of “earth care” that you live and share. Sending my best wishes to you and your beautiful family. <4
LikeLike
A beautiful story of continuing and re-finding hope that we can recognise that we aren’t alone. I lit a yellow candle on the solstice as a reminder of the return of the sun and the light in the darkness.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much for your lovely comments, Andrea, and for sharing your solstice ceremony to welcome the return of the light. ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Will share Ulali on Twitter. Thanks!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Bob. “All my relations” is one of my favorite songs. 🙂
LikeLike
That’s beautiful, Carol. Thank you. I’ll light a candle too. hugs, Hanneke
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much for your kind words, Hanneke, and for adding your light to the world. Hugs to you, too. ❤
LikeLike