Carol A. Hand
Standing in the shower, eyes closed
Rinsing off soap and shampoo
Thinking about gossip gathered in research
And wondering what to do
What roles do tales told about others
Play in preserving the social order
My thoughts taking me to other times
Momentarily dissolving time’s border
Image: Microsoft Word Clipart
What value do such utterings carry
What heuristic goals are served
By repeating words that disparage others
Even when critiques appear to be deserved
Spreading gossip says much about the teller
So I’ll make the choice that’s best
Leaving hurtful words buried in old research notes
Until consigned to flames, their final prayerful rest
Image: Microsoft Word Clipart
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A wise decision, Carol. Disparaging words destroy lives.
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So true, Rosaliene. In this case, the words also fed into cultural divides and perhaps perpetuated ignorant misuse of power, affecting lives for generations yet to come…
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A caustic hobby of wagging tongues.
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This is a very interesting topic. Worthy of an essay, I think, and you could discuss it without naming people and without identifying information. Maybe as we avoid spreading disparaging words we also miss discussing the context and the power structure and dynamics of gossip. What you say about gossip’s role in preserving the social order–what sorts of gossipy criticism comes out tells a lot about the group and its stresses. You obviously have powerful examples to share.
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Great comments, Diane. Interestingly, after writing and posting this reflection, I felt the need to briefly contextualize the gossip that inspired these reflections without repeating details in the most recent chapter. The “divide and conquer” political and cultural dynamics involved raised serious concerns for me.
As always, I appreciate your feedback and thoughtful suggestions. I will probably return to your idea later today when I’ve finished working on this chapter 🙂
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Your words convict, but in a positive way, Carol! Your children and grandchildren are blessed to have such a wise, loving person to love and learn from!
Many times, I am not even aware this is what I am doing.
And I have even suffered the ill effects of other’s gossip, whether based on truth or not, so I am not very fond of myself when I find that I am taking part in this kind of destructive and worthless communication.
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I suspect we all do this to some degree, Sojourner, especially when we feel insecure and believe it will do little harm to others. In this situation, the potential harm was already done and was unfixable. I won’t repeat the gossip, but writing this helped me think about how to address the hegemony it perhaps perpetuated.
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This is difficult for some but Tubularsock believes that you say what you have to say, the way you have to say it and let the chips fall where they may. Life is a reflection in which you see yourself.
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Thank you for your comments – I’m grateful for truth-speakers like you, Tubularsock. 🙂
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Soulful and sage! 🙂
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Lovely comments, Bette. Thank you ❤
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Purveying gossip is a very tempting pastime. And the purveyor learns the hard way that no sooner the indulgence starts, the faster the process starts to wreak its demeaning influence on the perpetrator. Unlike the salutary effects of benevolent giving, doling out gossip steadily weakens and degrades all parties involved. Season’s greetings to you, Carol…
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Thank you for sharing thoughtful perspectives on the harm gossip metes on everyone, Raj. It is also a powerful way to enforce conformity – ensuring both social order/continuity and stifling creativity. Like all social behaviors – both good and bad?
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Some anthropologists believe gossiping serves an important survival function: it’s through gossip (especially about other people’s misadventures) that people learn valuable lessons about what not to do.
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An interesting and thought-provoking interpretation, Stuart. This is certainly something I will continue to think about as I write.
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So well written and I couldn´t agree more with your verses… the third stanza truly resonated with me… all the best to you in 2016. Aquileana ★⭐
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Thank you for your lovely comments and blessings, Aquileana. It is always a delight to hear from you. All the best to you, too ❤
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True, and yet I wonder: how do we preserve history and all its truths, however terrible. But then, as you point out there are terrible truths, and then there are terrible un-truths. Those, yes: please, destroy. 🙂
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Thank you for your important insights, Jean. I wrote this after days of reading my research notes. During my research study, I wrote down everything people said in interviews, including petty comments they made about their colleagues or community members. (One never knows at the time what will prove important later.) Repeating these tales – petty and rather mean-spirited gossip in my view – would only detract from larger issues. One of these issues was the divisive, competitive nature of the tribal community, and hence, the ability of the county or state to play community people against each other in order to tighten external controls. I’m not sure if this makes sense out of context. In those few cases where the gossip was accurate, and the “fatal flaws” serious in terms of consequences, they are demonstrated by describing actions rather than gossipy innuendo. My hope was to allow readers to reach their own conclusions. I’ve yet to revisit these chapters to edit, and that will be a while. I have a syllabus to finish and then follow. 🙂
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Ah, those pesky syllabi. 🙂 But yes, I do understand what you mean. So often the gossip we hear, even if true, will show itself in the petty actions of those whom the gossip depicts. And, as we so often teach to our students, if this information is not directly relevant to your purpose, then it’s just gotta go. 🙂 Thank you for sharing this!
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Jean, your thoughtful comments are always much appreciated. Thank you for taking the time to read carefully from a critical perspective and share your important insights. 🙂
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I’m learning a lot from you, I think. 🙂 Don’t let those students off the hook for anything!
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I’m actually excited to see how the new assignments work in real life, but spelling out specific details in a logical, understandable fashion is always a challenge for me. But it’s beginning to feel doable. 🙂
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LOL! Yes, the trial and error of assignment and lectures from term to term. What I love is *just* when you think you’ve found the groove, a committee of some sort implements new course learning assessments or objectives that throw everything askew. Good luck!
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Ah, yes. The advantage of an adjunct (with more degrees and experience than most faculty) is the freedom to ignore committee dictates. 🙂
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Ha! Now *that* is brilliant.
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