Thoughts on a Blustery Thursday in December

Carol A. Hand

i
feel
the words in
my heart struggling
to be spoken
deep
yet confused
the sacred link broken
i’ve read too much troubling news
still there’s a wordless song within
i can sense the sacred potential
it feels like it’s time to begin
but the light remains
remote
and unspoken
today these words
an inadequate token
it’s expressing my light
that gives me the greatest fear.
it’s what has cost me friends and jobs
even though the communion
with others was
enticingly
near

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” (Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles.”)

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27 thoughts on “Thoughts on a Blustery Thursday in December”

  1. Carol, speaking truth is what you have. What true relationship would stifle another’s voice? Only selfish people do that. Friends may not agree, one person may have an opinion ah oh differs from another. But censoring another’s voice is a cruel thing to do.

    Let your light shine. There should be as many voices as there are people.

    Sent from my iPhone

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you for your comments, Rosaliene. I have been reflecting on the responsibility one carries trying to live in light. It’s so much easier to simply accept the feeling that we’re powerless. We have lots of company then…

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Keep the truth close. Fuck em who don’t like. There is too many that want it another way. There is too many that would drag you down with smiles if they could. There is too many toeing the line. Don’t think falling asleep without worry is a measure of success. The opposite is true. Keep that pen to the paper. Lose more sleep, friends, jobs. Keep your eye on the mist of morning, the young pup following the kids to school, the stars at night different every time. Let everyone else watch TV and go on vacations. There is truth to be told.

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  11. Keep shining, Carol. Those that will fall away because of it are not really friends. We are asked to Scripturally to shine light in the darkness. Perhaps those that shrink away from your light fear what darknesses it exposes within themselves. Love and hugs, N 🙂 ❤

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  12. Yes. When I forget about how I might be perceived or misread in my motives or intentions by others for my deeds or words, that is also when I am most self-possessed and unselfconscious. Not arrogantly or in a mood of conceit. Simply free from the urge or reflex to stay within the prescribed bounds of what is supposed to be my general inadequacy or ineptitude. It’s true. There is a fear of saying or thinking or feeling more than one should lest one should strain relations or even break with kith and kin. The risk is not imaginary. It is real. It is inherent to giving oneself over to one’s own reason and imagination, to, as you put it, “expressing my light.”

    The risk is that one may become objectionable or offensive in the eyes of those on whom we depend (or imagine that we depend) for our sense of self-approbation; the risk and the temptation are that one may even go so far as to break the dependency. One then would have to stand alone and apart. We therefore think and speak and imagine with tempered restraint. For we cannot live alone.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you for such thoughtful comments, Norman. This is an elegant analysis of the costs and benefits of freeing oneself “from the urge to stay within the prescribed bounds” of one’s society. I have learned to (sometimes) refrain from sharing the possibilities I see to change oppressive circumstances if I sense people aren’t ready to hear it. Still, this does create a sense of distance and aloneness that I truly wish could be different.

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