Carol A. Hand
I don’t know why I feel so sad this morning
Maybe it’s the rainy grey November day
Maybe it’s the memory of a young Ojibwe man
I just revisited yesterday
“When I realized that I would never see my sister again
I stopped talking and remained silent
I began wetting the bed
The foster family tied me to a board in the yard and
They all peed on me to teach me a lesson”
He survived abuse only to die young
Maybe it’s the former student
Who valiantly overcame so many odds
Violence, poverty, and off-putting brilliance
That kept her locked in poverty-wage jobs
Whose latest challenge to overcome cancer
Finally ended last week
Some days life just feels too heavy
Still, I have promises to keep
I know I need to honor their lives
By honoring myself and the work I’ve begun
By nurturing the light within
Especially on the dark days
Copyright Notice: © Carol A. Hand and carolahand, 2013-2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Carol A. Hand and carolahand with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Carol, I’m reading and re-reading this post; grieving with you about evil and tragedy that should not have happened. It seems a paradox that in writing about these tragic aspects of life, you are indeed “nurturing the light within.” My symphathies for your losses. ❤
LikeLiked by 3 people
I so appreciate your thoughtful comments, Hildegard, and I’m deeply touched by your kindness. Thank you ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think these past days have been emotionally wringing for a lot of people. The amount of abuse humans mete on each other is so painful . Poor guy.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Thank you for your always thoughtful comments, Jacqueline. I agree – this is a difficult emotional time for many made worse by ongoing heartless cruelty.
(I should add that despite abuse in foster care homes, he actually grew into a lovely man motivated by compassion and integrity. His death was a tremendous loss for the community.)
LikeLiked by 3 people
That’s good to know that he had an opportunity to empathize and show love to others.
LikeLiked by 2 people
To know about people like this, who overcome abuse or other adversity, rising above these things in their life, is humbling and inspiring. They are indeed shining lights. Thanks for adding that comment.
LikeLiked by 2 people
The light for remembrance will always remain bright and strong. A reminder that they hadn’t been forgotten.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you for your kind and lovely comments, Pamela. ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Carol, the dark rainy days have arrived here in Oregon and I have a lot of those kinds of thoughts bothering me , too. The kind that make you feel heavy with sadness and it’s so hard to shake. Sending a cyber ((hug)) ❤️
LikeLiked by 2 people
You kindness means so much to me Mandy. I’m sending thoughts of sunshine and cyber hugs to you, too, my dear friend. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DVuX22LO2Hg
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh Carol, that was the perfect song! “Weave me the hope of a new tomorrow…” Isn’t that all we can hope for each and every day? Thank you so very much ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
I thought of it when I read your lovely comments. It’s one of my favorites, sometimes playing in my mind when I greet a cloudy morning.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I saved it and will refer to it often!
LikeLiked by 1 person
The absurdity of life, to overcome incredible adversity, and then to die.. The saddest daeaths IMO
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for your comments, Feral cat. It is tragic. But just maybe they’re the lucky ones. We’re stuck here without them still dealing with the same old craziness…
LikeLike
I guess that in the big scheme of things, we will be joining them soon enough 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
So true 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
These are hard memories to share but you are honoring the memory of the people who lived them. By sharing your stories, you are helping to make the world a more aware and kinder place for our grandchildren. Smile and be proud.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Dear Bernadette, I’m touched deeply by your generous and lovely words. Thank you ❤
LikeLike
Oh, Carol, So much suffering. Sometimes I wonder what spirit is wanting us to understand. Then, sometimes, I have a vision that without suffering we cannot learn caring. Still, the lessons are hard and leave a deep and lasting ache in my heart.
LikeLiked by 1 person
As always, you have raised such important questions, Michael. I’m not sure why there’s so much suffering. It may be that we are born knowing how to live lovingly and are programmed to forget as we’re socialized to fit in. Maybe some of us remember again through our own suffering.
LikeLike
Life weighs hard and heavy on them who feel
with eyes open, tender hearts there broken
’tis curse of sympathy, the short straw drawn
A solemn hope, a fleeting joy, their long
LikeLiked by 1 person
Peter, this is the beginning of a lovely and powerful poem! Chi miigwetch for sharing this.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I echo the thoughts above.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Sojourner ❤
LikeLike
As writers, our work oftentimes take us to dark places. Yet, in order to tell our stories and bring to life the individuals who feature in them, we must be able to relive those emotions with the light of the present.
Keep writing through the pain.
LikeLiked by 1 person
This is so true, Rosaliene, and helpful advice – to “keep writing through the pain.” It does help to give voice to others’ suffering – there’s hope that it might make a difference.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Good morning, Carol. I can’t help checking in and hoping today some light is seeping into the darkness. Our storm stopped sometime in the night and this morning the sun is shining more brightly than it has for some time. Another storm due this afternoon, but I’ve never appreciated this brief respite so much. I pray some sun shines over you today. ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much for your kindness, dear Mandy ❤ For the moment the sun is shining – in my eyes – but it's a good thing. I apologize for not responding sooner. (I didn't post this piece until after I wrote my quota of words for NaNo yesterday, even though I had written before I started on my book. I needed to write what was in my heart and thoughts first. And I'm only answering your comment to let you know how grateful I am to you before I immerse myself to maybe finish chapter ten…)
LikeLiked by 1 person
❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Good for you! i always have a plan to do NaNo but I have had the attention span of a gnat 😀 I hope you make great progress on your book. Couldn’t they do the NaNo in the summer when it’s bright and sunny and I’m inspired?
LikeLiked by 1 person
I have 35,000 words so far toward the 50,000 goal. I made a decision, though , that makes it easier for me than other writers. I’m interweaving my memoire into my edited research fieldnotes and adding historical and cultural context. I won’t know if it works until I’m done and begin the editing process. I honestly have the greatest admiration for you – I can’t wait to read your book, but I’ll need to wait until I’m finished writing.
By the way, I do think NaNo is offered at other times – I think in April .
LikeLiked by 1 person
35K-wow! Just getting this draft downloaded is fantastic. Plenty of editing, maybe revisions, but this is huge. I’m really excited for you. I’ll check out the April NaNo. That’s a good amount of time to wrap my head around a month of intense writing.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Human beings can be so cruel in their projections of fear…always onto the innocents. Than you for sharing their stories here, for we can hold their memory and honor their journeys as we recommit ourselves to compassion for others….especially those who are not the same as any one of us.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for such thoughtful and compassionate comments, Carrie. It’s important to remember that fear and insecurity can often lead to cruelty – those who hurt others are often in pain themselves.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Indeed they are in pain.. I have been the recipient of that deep insecurity in a parent that is powerfully and painfully shared with a child. And, today I see that parent with compassion. I am truly one of the lucky ones who have lived to heal.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for sharing a powerful example of resilience, Carrie ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh, I’m so sorry, Carol. It never ceases to amaze me how cruel humans can be to one another. You honor these two well with your words. Stories like this need to be shared and in the sharing can come great healing and peace. Keep telling their stories so that maybe others don’t suffer needlessly. May the Lord grant you His peace that transcends all understanding and that His goodness and mercy bring rainbows out of your tears. Love, Natalie 🙂 ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m grateful for your kindness and encouragement, Natalie. Thank you! ❤
LikeLike
You are always in our hearts Carol. God Bless.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Bless you too, Donna, and Walking Fox as well. I love the work you both do ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
We feel EXACTLY the same about you!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m deeply grateful for your kindness, Donna ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you~
LikeLiked by 1 person
Stories that need telling… Beautifully and powerfully done. Keep writing!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m honored by your kind words, Bette. You are truly a gifted storyteller and I look forward to reading more of your powerful work someday soon 🙂
LikeLike
Whatever happened to that outrageously abusive foster “family”?
I can think of a few thing that should happen to them as a result of torturing a child.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sadly, I doubt that anything ever happened to them. I suspect they continued fostering other children based on what I was told about the social workers who were responsible for overseeing the welfare of these children.
LikeLike
Makes me mad as hell.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It makes me mad, too, Allan, and sad as well. Stories like this are a major reason why I continue to write…
LikeLike